Achieving your dreams...

...what Cate is listening to, and other thoughts.

Hi friends, coming to you after a few weeks of recommitting to finishing my novel.

Specifically, I have committed to finish a “shitty” first draft of my novel by August 29. “Shitty” not because I think my work is “shitty.” “Shitty” because you have to start somewhere, and I really need to take the pressure of perfection off the table.

a romanticized version of what a lot of my mornings look like now…

I started my book in grad school and put every last brain cell I had into making the first 120 pages worthy of my thesis submission. Once grad school ended, I was so burned out that taking a break was necessary. But a break turned into months which turned into more than a year of avoiding finishing what I had started. And it’s not like this project has been out of sight out of mind. It’s been very much “in mind.” Very much at the forefront of all my thoughts nearly each day, taunting me with questions like “will I ever finish?” … “can I even finish?” … “what if I do all this work and it never gets published?”

Helpful. I know.

After being away from the book for so long, it became difficult to face the amount of time and energy it will inevitably take to make this novel something worth querying. And even then, it may never see the light of day.

The thing is, with any creative pursuit, you cannot know what you are capable of, unless you do the work.

Yesterday a friend who is also writing a book (and whom I consider a “first-draft-bestie,” a term coined by my dear friend Alexandra) texted me: “Is there any possibility that I’m just not gonna be able to do this”

While I might not provide an entirely objective perspective here – this friend would not be a “first-draft-bestie” if I didn’t respect her talent and value her feedback. I think she can do anything she sets her mind to. She has the bones of what is necessary to achieve her dreams. But only she can do the work.  

I told her to call me asap and we laughed about the mountain that stands between us and our dreams, and the reality that only we can get ourselves there. In some respects, this is daunting. But it is also empowering. We must believe in our work so ardently that nothing can stop us from creating.

While writing tends to be solitary, it’s a relief to know I’m not the only one who is intimidated by the work ahead and the uncertainty of it all.

A few minutes after we hung up, this PSA for creatives, artists + self-starters via Eli Rallo popped up on my FYP.  Eli references musical artist Chappell Roan (her song Pink Pony Club has been on REPEAT for me the last week or so) and her decade long roller coaster journey to mainstream success. There were so many points in Chappell’s career where others might have, understandably, called it quits. We could have a whole philosophical discussion about success and what that means – but what I can’t stop thinking about is that there were so many people who ostensibly rejected Chappell and her art. And it never stopped her from creating.

Which brings me to what I’m listening to… A LOT of Chappell Roan (and a few other artists). My summer playlist is linked below. I must credit my friend Carrie for the phrasing “What X is listening to.” Carrie is my friend group’s resident music “critic” if you will, and she has been sharing “What Carrie is listening to” with us for nearly a decade!!

So all that to say… if you are a creative, keep creating; enjoy these summer bops – especially Chappell Roan – and Happy Fourth of July! (not in a “rah rah ‘Merica” way, but in a “let’s protect democracy and the freedom to criticize our government” kind of way.)

My talented sister Char created this beautiful artwork to tell the story of our friend Haneen and her family who are trapped in Gaza right now. They are raising money to pay for food, water, supplies, and to eventually evacuate to safety. If you have questions about their fundraiser or want to find other ways to help, please reach out to me via my IG DMs.